Maybe i should just get myself confined.. or sleep my life away..

Somehow my feelings when i'm outside has changed.. used to really enjoy being out of camp to slack.. but now.. i just hope i get to stay in that routine life in there.. though there is no freedom.. cause i won't have to see some things.. to think so much..

To return home to see how messed up the whole hse is.. to see how childish some of my siblings are.. it really makes me dun feel like going home..

To have to think now what? for like very long.. with different ppl having different suggestions.. cant really agree.. tiring.. Life in Camp.. lunch and dinner just go CookHse.. dun need think.. so easy..

And to make things worse, my results did not met the expectation of my mum.. it's like.. though i kinda expected the result to be like this and i'm ok with it.. i just feel guilty that i didn't work hard enuff to meet my mum's expectation..

No doubt.. when i'm in there, the trainings and stand-by-areas makes me look forward to booking out very very much.. but now.. each time i book out.. i dun seem to feel the joy i was anticipating when i'm in there..

At first i tot what my pc said was weird.. "Aiya.. Got girl won't sian liao.." .. I was like thinking.. WHAT?! got girl and can't see her, shouldn't it be worse??!! but now i realize.. no girl is more sian.. cause there won't be much ppl u'll look forward to seeing when u book out..

maybe that's y i dun enjoy booking out like i used to..