Troubled

ytd tio recall.. from morn till nite then book out.. since i didn't have to do much, it was still okay lor.. just that i sian that i had to miss meeting up a few friends..

during the recall, we learnt of more things abt what's going on.. the 'arrows' and 'aimings' that's happening and also the movement of many ppl on our side.. makes all of us realise that the work is just gonna get tougher and tougher.. not just for me.. not just for my fellow course mates.. but also for the ppl above us.. in fact, more for them.. thx to ppl above them.. haiz..

this brings me to where i'm troubled.. should i just do my part and leave the others to their own part? or should i help out, so that everything goes well.. if i dun help, they may get the punishment they deserve, but it will affect the ppl directly above us.. and they dun deserve the wrath of it.. but if help, though everything will go better, i may just suffocate.. haiz..

Fucked up luck.. Fucked up work.. Fucked up ppl..

Got 5 extras.. that i wont had gotta if everyone was ard for me to do my work.. had i not took that break, i wouldn't have got it.. 5 extras is 5 weekends gone.. dun tell me tings abt mine is only 5 and other ppl has 12.. i dun fucking care even if someone goes into DB for 12 years..

Just when i tot that's the end of the rubbish, my work cannot be completed daily cause of missing ppl here and there.. and just when i tot i could complete it by booking out later, shit has to happen that make it drag longer.. what is this man.. it's just someting pretty straight forward.. y does it have to drag so long.. y do ppl have do make me waste days of my life just to save 15 to 20mins of their life.. or even just 5 seconds to tell me what's going on.. fucked up crap..

as if 5 extras and tons of paperwork is not enuff.. ppl have to tink only abt themselves.. their fun.. their nap.. their watever and leave me to clean up the crap.. and ask me to do their work.. do u ppl really think only u r tired? y do u have to ask me to help u this and that and let me find u slping in bunk or tagging along somebody to see what he do or even worse playing?! i've been working non-stop the whole of this wk, having 20mins lunch break and back to work, running ard just to save that few mins, working late, having dinner late or even nv eat.. just to get my work done and yet this has to happen.. can u imagine how it feels to have work stack up over days, having to do ur work cause u dun seem to care and yet i find u doing those things? i got my own responsibilities too, alright?!

I know u dun realise it at times.. but wtf man.. show more care in ur responsibilities.. dun expect ppl ard to remind u or worse, do it for u..

fucked up crap...

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that was what i was feeling on thurs and fri.. haiz.. y liddat... haiz...

Just when i'm on my goal to quit gaming, have a better slp pattern, have a more meaningful life by learning things of interest and so-on.. this has to happen to take away my time and more imptly my mood.. it even made me did sth i tot i wont have done again when i was sec4.. i can only say.. i'm really sick and tired of it.. although this has not started long, having so much of it at 1 go really just makes it depressing..

i dunno what to say liao.. complicated.. almost everything just went wrg this wk for me.. i like u as friend.. but when it comes to having u as colleague.. u make me feel u dun care at all.

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Dont wanna tok abt this anymore. i just hope for the better.

trip back to camp

i'm v high now sia.. whole of last nite nv slp until.. haha.. found a good site that provides me with the guitar tabs i've been looking for ages.. haha.. played guitar.. no.. practised guitar the whole nite sia.. then just when i was abt to go and slp.. my phone rang...

"hello, John ar? jin rui here.. xxx....xxxx..come back camp asap...xxx.."

dun really rem what he said.. i was half aslp ma.. but i managed to wake up to go back camp.. despite slping for bt 20mins?? lol..

got back camp only to find out.. urine test.. haa~~... woke me up to go urine.. xD haha..

then today vomited.. xD got drinking, nv vomit.. today drink teh peng, drink until vomit.. xD lol..

dunno y.. should be feeling tired and nauseous now.. but feel okay lor.. haha.. just a bit naseous ba.. =x

was toking to a friend on way home.. then suddenly tot of a few things that i should do.. decided i should do ba..

that's to make my life even more worthwhile.. thinking abt my life, compared to others.. i've wasted pretty much chances and stuff..

because of gaming.. my results was not as gd as i could actually do.. not gonna do it again in uni.. hope i can be determined this time.. so.. i've decided to stop being a "hardcore" gamer.. dun everytime nothing do, play game... now must tink abt more enriching tings.. like studying.. tok with friends.. playing guitar.. haha..

k la.. i'm going practise guitar liao.. haha...

Whee

wah.. damn shuang.. been looking for Guitar sheet/tabs/ blablabla online for v long.. finally found sth.. shiok.. found the guitar tab and couldn't help it but start practising it despite the time..

Music Video:YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL (STRIPPED) (by James Blunt)

Music Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

i found guitar tabs for this.. still checking out the site for more nice songs.. =D

Milkshake

was at the milkshake at Mos ytd.. no.. wrg.. wanted to go.. but couldn't get in... got in only after 1+am.. =x lol..

anyway, ytd was pretty fun.. those who missed it.. too bad.. lol.. actually.. next time.. i tink no free entry event then i go.. haha.. the queue was like.. wa.... long until liang court almost mac there sia.. zzz...

nvm.. so.. we went to Nos to warm up first.. got me, fei[long time no see, still the same one... good.. haha..], kenny, shin, kh..

then.. bt 1+ go Mos.. saw a few camp mates here and there.. met up with lifeng they all.. met jasmine, jhon.. so.. despite the long queue which disappointed me, i pretty much had a fun nite lor.. haha..

so.. next time got event, not free de.. ask me hor.. haha.. =x
no event or free also can ask me.. xD haha..

Lousy wk?

This wk hasn't been so gd.. many pop-ups... almost nothing i do folos the nicely plan time-table given to us.. sianz... feels like i've complained more in one day than the whole of last wk.. xD

so.. i'm not gonna tok abt it.. complain too much not gd.. sumore so far, every senior in camp has been telling our batch how lucky we are alrdy.. [but are we really lucky? or izzit that they are more unlucky?? xD ]

i'm gonna tok abt the rest of the wk that can be used to make up for the lousy wkstart.. i'm having leave+wkends+off from thursday, which is today, to monday... anyone wanna jio me go out, plz jio me.. lol.. i sat nite going Mos's Milkshake... feel free to join me.. other than that, i got no other plans.. just slack as of now.. xD haha..

anyway, my da jie just got back frm bangkok and bought me a pair of shoes.. black white.. then i also bought a pair of shoes when i went malaysia on the 08/11.. brown white.. so now.. which should i wear?? xD lol..

Pictures

Was sorting out my folder and found this pic of me.. that's how i look at an exercise (meal time).. =D

Lots of stuff going through my mind....

Felt like a lot of things happened recently in my life.. though i cant really count many.. it really suffocates me when i think abt it too much..

Some debts of my dad had led to the sale of our family car.. and now maybe even our home.. may have to move house liao.. zzz..

Took over the equipments frm my senior.. lots of paper work flooding me..

Lots of politics in camp is coming to my knowledge and it's real tough to handle.. Operators not wanting to do certain work because the others are not doing.. always comparing who do more and less.. Course mates and seniors playing taichi.. Lots of opinion abt ppl told to me and i dunno who should i believe.. then my laoda.. tell us to have more inituitive.. but scold us big time when our inituitive led us the wrg way..

Then the course i need to teach is coming soon.. everyone are giving opinions abt how to teach.. say until so easy.. say must be tough on them to gain command and control.. kns.. tink being tough on ppl very fun meh? tink being tough on them always works meh? haiz.. but at least there r still some who believes in teaching them properly and not to f them upside down.. but still.. it's gonna be hard.. argh..

probs that can say out loud, probs that has to be kept a secret.. probs that cant be solved.. haiz..